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Finding the strength to make changes in our lives

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written by Stefan Grigoriu

Sometimes making  the necessary changes  in our lives seems to be almost impossible. We just cannot find the energy or we lack the motivation. The first reaction is to accuse ourselves of superficiality or laziness. Then we start feeling guilty, unworthy and less powerful.

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How to get out of this right away?.

I don’t think there is a miraculous  way or standard methods that work every time. For me, attitude seems to be the weapon of choice that helps me to stand the grounds when dealing with such difficulties.  A good attitude will tell you exactly what you have to do next and help you  handle almost every change.

1. Be honest. Have the guts to see yourself as you really are, with  good and bad. Without this it’s impossible to change your life.

Know the real you, analyze your actions, because thoughts are tricky. What you do is what you really believe in. Don’t make the  between your education, your politically correct system of beliefs and yourself. If you are not acting accordingly, these are not your real beliefs.

Don’t let the emotions bias your judgement. Now you are forbidden to love or to hate yourself.

The sign that your quest is on the wrong path is that you start feeling tension, inner conflict.

2. Be brave, don’t run away. Facing the real you is not easy, but turning your back has even worse consequences on long term. When you discover that you don’t have much choice, being brave is even easier.

 3. Change obligation with motivation. Learn to negotiate with yourself. Try to change the perspective from which you are  looking at the things to be done. Try to find in that change what’s good for you. That will transform the obligation, something imposed by exterior, in something that comes naturally from inside you.

4. Be active. Find things to do that could mean an improvement. But take it easy. Small steps are better than trying to leap.

5. Be your best friend, no matter how bad you seem to be. If you try to punish yourself or, worse, if you reject yourself, you will lose power and nothing good will come out of that. Try to treat yourself as your best friend would. Try to negotiate with yourself, not to impose a decision. Choose your attitude and your words carefully.

 6. Be confident. Once you know what changes you have to do, try to keep confidence no matter how difficult it seems to be. Don’t let your confidence depend on your qualities or on any external prop or else, in case of failure, you will lose it.  Selfconfidence is unconditioned.

 7. Be stubborn or be patient. In case of failure, think of it as a step on your way. Take it as it comes without much ado.  Failure is not permanent. Make a creed out of this sentence and go on. Keep your mind clean of negative thoughts. This is the most important thing.

 

Photo: Adrian Ion Photography


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