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The ugly face of beauty

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Ever since I was a little girl I was taught beauty is utterly important. My mother, my sister, my friends, fairy tales and, later, MTV icons were all talking about this one asset that, when owned, could empower you, make people love you and, maybe, help you obtain the privilege of a carefree life.

So you see, for me and for so many others like me, it was unavoidable to begin the pursuit of beauty. And it started at the early age of 13: diets, anorexia, make-up and choosing a personal fashion style. Beauty was – I heard – a slim body, a gorgeous pale face and big painted eyes.


Raoul Hausmann – The mechanical head


What is the ugly face of beauty?

The perfect beauty culture we live in (Barbie dolls, models, Hollywood stars – who only God knows what they go through to look like that) shaped our body image to the point that we go to the gym to achieve a fit look rather than to enjoy moving and playing.

Aspiring to be like the girls we see in the magazines and movies means compromising ourselves. Because we, the real women, do not have the time to work out 24h/day. We go to work, raise children, cook and maybe, from time to time, go jogging.

The pursuit of the perfect beauty is a rigid, heartless path that takes into account at no time self acceptance and self love.  It has nothing to do with real beauty.

Here are 5 traits that I have identified as ugly when we rely so much on physical beauty.

Trait # 1: Superiority. The pursuit of that perfect beauty is actually the pursuit of trying to be better. When we do achieve a gorgeous look, unless we are wise enough, we risk slipping in the superiority abyss. This is a position that actually hinders us from true connection with people, empathy and unconditional love. Superiority is a very shaky feeling. Because, you see, every coin has two sides. There is superiority and there is its twin brother, inferiority, bounded together since birth.

Trait # 2: Arrogance. This is superiority with a bitter disdainful attitude. It can actually be seen on so many physically beautiful faces. It is beauty with a dagger.

Trait # 3: Search for approval. When we’ve lost connection with our source and forgot who we are, we begin the never-ending hunt for approvals. With every situation and person, we try to exhibit the beauty that we hope will get us likes, acceptance and love.

Trait # 4:  Insecurity. The pursuit of beauty makes us insecure of who we are.  It is as though we considered ourselves not worthy as beings and try to impress with our mouths, with our eyes, with our sculpted bodies. And the moment we achieve that beauty, we begin to fear losing it. Paying so much attention to the exterior look leaves us no moment of break.

Trait # 5:  Fear of rejection. Yes, you read it right. Just think about Michael Jackson’s obsession for cosmetic surgeries.  Trying to achieve that acceptable beauty hides a huge fear of being rejected.  The thought is „maybe they’ll want me because I am beautiful, at least….”


“Oh soul,
you worry too much.
You have seen your own strength.
You have seen your own beauty.
You have seen your golden wings.
Of anything less,
why do you worry?
You are in truth
the soul, of the soul, of the soul.”

The real beauty

The point here is not that we shouldn’t care about outer look at all, but to observe if we care about our look because we want to be accepted and loved. To notice if our idea of beauty makes us feel tense, fearful or ego-concerned. If you find that’s so, it may be that you wear the ugly face of beauty on the inside.

Where I grew up, nobody mentioned inner beauty…or maybe I was too deaf to hear it…But I can’t recall hearing about compassion, kindness, honesty or wholeheartedness.

It took me two years without make-up and long hair to understand who I really was and to discover the beauty within.  And so, I’ve learned that being attached to a beautiful face & body hindered me from giving and connecting with people. And that a beautiful face means nothing if there’s nothing beautiful beneath it. And that true beauty is made of love, peace, joy, humor, clarity and wisdom.  And that there’s nothing more beautiful than two sparkling eyes and a wide smile.  And that the best make-up is a healthy sleep, a good meditation and a kind heart.

Beauty comes from within

Discovering our inner beauty is like cleaning a dirty glass. Once we clean away the layers of dirt, the glass lets the Sun rays enter the room.  Once we clean away the egocentrical, negative thoughts, the divine shines through us with an unimagined beauty.


 “You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”


Photo 1: studyblue

 Photos 2 & 3: All about Eve Exhibition. Credits to Eliza Tatulescu & Adrian Ion. 

Comments (2)

  1. alya says:

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