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What keeps people together in long-term relationships?

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Making love, eating, speaking to the same person again and again and again, what is the substance that can glue two very heterogenous individuals to such an extent and make them endure such an odd and painful symbiosis?

One very clever project is trying to throw some light on this human curiosity. The Global Glue Project is an on-going, on-making initiative from a group of three Americans to  „capture and share the secrets of healthy long-term relationships through interviews with real couples of all kinds, without any discrimination of race, sexual orientation, or religious affiliation.“

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To date, the team has filmed over 50 interviews (Glue Films), including couples in The US, China, Denmark, South Korea, India, Japan, Russia, and Romania.

Their goal is to release one „Glue Film“ per week, building a site with endless experiences in years and wisdom from couples that have been together anywhere from 5 to 70 years.

Until now on the Global Glue Project website 4 video have been shared. The videos show couples that have been together from 13  up to 70 years already and that have agreed to openly share what has kept them together so far.

The videos do not only portray ‘a romantic movie’s projection on reality’; among other things the 4 couples discuss hardships like the loss of a baby or the temptation and the challenge of holding on when you feel like quitting or just letting go.

Kia and Tommy form Venice, California have been together for 13 years already:

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Kia: „We’ve been seeing a counselor since before we were married and he gave us three words to work with: continuously, consciously choosing.“

Tommy: „We’re together not because  one of us feels obligated to be here but because given everything we would choose to be here… we consciously choose to be here and we consciously choose to be here on a continuous basis.”

 

Sydney from New York has been married to Hellen for 70 years:

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Sydney: „I find each day that I look forward to all our meals together… and the days seem to fly by and I am very happy“

Helen: „ before we go to sleep every night he holds my hand very tight…“

Sydney: „ Helen I just want to hold your hand forever… this is what I say and I don’t want to ever let go“

The stories are very different but there is a common trait that comes out in all the videos. In my own words I would summarize it like this:

If you choose to stay with someone for your whole life,  you will not be in this relationship because you still feel butterflies or cannot think straight due to the enormous passion that you have for each-other, as is the case in every freshly baked relationships or any fairytale and romantic comedy that was ever made…

You will be in a relationship because there is one person in this very big confusing world who knows you and sees in you what you yourself sometimes do not. Because through their trust you become more and better then you ever saw and hoped for yourself. And most of all, you will be in a relationship because you constantly choose to fight together instead of alone and defend at every second the construction that you have strenuously built up: your relationship.

Lasting commitment seems to be less about passion than about the conscious decision to support and get support from another human being through every obstacle or joy that might come your way throughout your life…

 

“No matter, who, what and how Kia is and shows up in the world she can  never fail to me, and I will make sure and commit that she will never be a failure in my eyes!”

“…relationships are not perfect and if you go into it with a sense of  it is going to be a fairytale land or ohh, this is my soulmate nothing can ever be difficult… i think that is a terrible difficult thing to come into a relationship with that idea.”

(Tommy- Venice, California)

 

Find out more and support the cause here.

Sources: Global Glue Project   , Kickstarter

 

 


Comments (3)

  1. radu says:

    E foarte interesant sa afli de ce nu merg relatiile sau cine esti cu adevarat, dar si greu in acelasi timp.

    • Diana Guta says:

      Yes. it’s a beautiful journey 🙂

    • odeta says:

      Din toate inter­vi­urile pe care am reusit sa le vad din proiect, reiese cam ace­lasi lucru. Relati­ile merg doar cand esti dis­pus ca faci com­pro­misuri… dar soci­etatea noas­tra devine din ce in ce mai indi­vid­u­al­ista si hedonista(ceea ce e de aseme­nea ok)doar ca asta nu se potriveste si se va potrivi din ce in ce mai putin cu ideea de relatie. (parca am vazut si la tine pe pag­ina un art pe tema asta)

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