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Forgiveness, the path to unconditional love

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What is forgiveness

Unless we’ve trained ourselves to willingly forgive, we may not truly have experienced what forgiveness is. Because forgiveness is a process. It demands presence and an active pursuit. It needs a mind willing to accept we could be wrong, then the power to let go and open to the possibility that we or someone else might be innocent and worthy of love.

Forgiveness helps one clear issues of the past, transform fears and re-establish relationships with people and with oneself. Yet, forgiveness is not just saying “I forgive..” but a sitting meditation which can then be integrated into daily life as a practice.

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Forgive ourselves, forgive others, asking for forgiveness 

Forgiveness is a 3 way process.

The first and most important is to forgive ourselves, for blaming, fearing, doubting, etc…

Second, we have to forgive other people who have hurt us and free ourselves from the emotional luggage.

Third, we have to ask people who we hurt in the pas to forgive us, as well.

Personal experience 

I wanted to write about this for some months now but I don’t like to write about something until I have fully experienced all the benefits and feel I have something to share with other people as well. I have been practicing forgiveness for 6 months now ( following  Bhante Vimalaramsi’s instructions that you can find below)  and feel like I can talk about it, for I  have truly experienced changes. Of course, I still have a long way to go, but I already went some kilometers. Forgiveness is not an easy journey, in fact it is a very hard and long one but it is for certain the best journey.

It has helped me find the courage to change cities and go for the job that would allow me to be who I wanted to be. It has helped me see I didn’t love myself and it has helped me embrace and love myself. It enabled me to understand I wasn’t present in my relationships and didn’t give too much, but instead asked a lot. It provided me a clear mind and an open heart to perceive scars, emotional neediness but also kindness and love in people. It has broadened my perspective on life, human interactions and the vastness of love.

The benefits of forgiveness

Practicing forgiveness with diligence leads to:

A clearer mind. Once you start forgiveness you realize you we’re wrong and you don’t have to be wrong twice. Thus, the mind begins to see the reality of things and stops  floating in the mists of negative emotions.

Understanding. Forgiveness is not just saying „I forgive ..”. This process actually opens locked doors and helps one dive into his own misconceptions about oneself, people and how things should be.

Indulgence. We become more flexible and feel love for ourselves and other people. We realize nothing is that serious and important as to hurt someone with a sharp word because he has made a mistake.

Tolerance to people and our mistakes. We begin to accept everybody including ourselves just the way we are.

Self-love. We start to embrace ourselves with our flaws and love the imperfect being that we are.

Love for other people. Indulgence and tolerance leads to feeling  love for the people. Forgiveness makes us see the innocent being hiding behind every person, even behind criminals. It opens our eyes and hearts to perceive their scars and shouts for love. Cause, in the end, there are no bad people, there is no hate, gelousy or crime. There is only a shout for love.

Resources for you to begin Forgiveness Meditation:

No 1 recommendation:   “Forgiveness meditation is the strongest meditation that I know of.” Bhante

Bhante Vimalaramsi’s structured Forgiveness Meditation at Dhammasukha 

The Forgiveness Network  page on Facebook

Jack Kornfield’s talk on forgiveness:

Jack Kornfield’s page 

Greater Good’s collection of articles on forgiveness 

 

 

If you feel inspired by these recommendations please let me know. I’d like to find out so I can know what to write about.

 


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