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5 wounds that hinder us from enjoying ourselves

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When we step  into the 30s, we secretly hope that we have forever walked out of the world of mistakes, love failures and poverty. But reality catches up with us. Although we’ve  aged, thinking patterns haven’t changed and thus we react and make the same decisions almost mechanically based on our past experiences.

Lise Bourbeau, founder of The “Listen to your body” wellness centre, says in her book “Heal your wounds and find your true self” that almost all of us suffer some type of wounds during the childhood, which force us to develop masks that help us cope with life.

She says that there are 5 main wounds which correspond to 5 masks: rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal and injustice. Corresponding to these 5 wounds there are the following 5 masks: the fugitive, the dependent, the masochist, the dominator and the rigid.



 The Fugitive


  • Does not live grounded in the material world
  • Escapes in the spiritual world, literature, fantasies
  • He is a perfectionist and suspects that if he makes a mistake he will get rejected
  • He believes he is unworthy of being in the world
  • He believes he is null, without any value
  • He is thin, doesn’t have the patience to eat or lacks apetite
  • In social situations he becomes invisible
  • He lives in solitude for fear that if people see him, they will be deceived by his behaviour and reject him
  • He avoids people’s attention at any costs

Body Type:


The Dependent


  • He does not believe in himself and expects others to support him
  • He believes he is a victim
  • He cannot make decisions on his own, always asks for advices and confirmations
  • He has the voice of a child
  • His specific emotion is sadness
  • He attaches himself psysically to other people
  • He makes everything to be desired by other people
  • He likes sex and uses his skills to keep the other in a relationship
  • He wants full time attention and approval
  • Solitude is his biggest fear
  • Changing moods

Body Type:



 The Masochist


  • He is ashamed of himself or other people therefore he hides himself
  • He is obsessed with cleaning, perfect clothes and the way he looks, so that other people won’t despise him
  • He doesn’t speak about/hides events in his life that seem humiliating 
  • He never listens to his needs
  • He believes he is dirty, null or less than other people
  • He is easily hurt by criticism and feels humiliated
  • His biggest fear is freedom
  • He attracts people who persecute or makes him feel humiliated. A woman may attract a man who flirts with other women, a man may attract a woman who is very provocative to other men.
  • They voluntarily help people but end up becoming their “servants” because they believe that by helping people they will not despise them.
  • He punishes himself hoping to punish his humiliator
  • He looks for situations where he can forget about himself
  • He overeats to compensate things missing

Body Type:



The Dominator


  • He believes he is very strong and has a lot of responsibilities
  • He wants to be perceived as strong and special. He’s always talking about himself and his achievements.
  • He has difficulties keeping his promises
  • He lies with ease
  • He is seductive and manipulative
  • He takes his power from making others feel weak
  • Changing moods
  • He believes he owns the truth and imposes it to others as well
  • He is intolerant
  • He strives to make his performances noticed
  • He does not accept his vulnerabilities
  • He has a hard time confessing

Body Type:


 The Rigid


  •  He strives to be always correct
  • He is obsesed with justice
  • He blocks his feelings
  • Crosses his arms frequently
  • He likes cleanliness and discipline
  • He is intolerant with mistakes
  • His voice is flat and inflexible
  • He does not admit he has problems
  • He finds it difficult to receive from people
  • When he enjoys himself, he feels guilty
  • He has high expectations from himself and crosses his limits
  • He is sensitive but develops a control over sensitivity so that he can pe perceived as strong

Body Type:



According to Lise Bourbeau although we wear these masks in a childish attempt to protect ourselves, we paradoxically attract the exact situations and people we need to feel rejected, abandoned, humiliated, betrayed or done injustices.

Healing our wounds and getting out of these masks is possible if  we: 

– acknowledge the wound(s) and mask(s) we wear

– forgive ourselves and the people who hurt us

– start to accept and love ourselves just as we are

I hope you are not sad already because you’ve identified your wound and mask. It surely triggers some memories and emotions. Let them come out and spread away. Don’t get too attached to your new found identity. You know who you really are, so cheer up and love yourself today, tomorrow, always… unconditionally. This is the best medicine.


This article is a brief summary. For a better understanding of these concepts read Lise Bourbeau’s complete book “Heal your wounds and find your true self” 

Source: Heal your wounds and find your true self 


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  1. […] You will see there the physical body development of people based on their wounds as a child . http://lotuspocusfocus.com/2013/…Embed QuoteUpvote • Comment Loading… • Just now Add your answer, or answer […]

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